The fiery awakening when we lose our obligations and rediscover our passion.
Menopause is the stage that all women ultimately face, and the passage is unique and rarely easy. Long been a mysterious taboo subject shrouded with shame, denial, and secrecy, our foremothers were stigmatised and suffered in silence with significant barriers in a patriarchal world, particularly in Western culture.
It can be a time in a woman’s life that makes many women feel like they are going crazy. Only 50 years ago, women were being taken away and institutionalised for severe mental illness when it was actually menopause they were misdiagnosed with. Decades later, thanks to the feminine movement, cross-cultural research, and awareness, women can reclaim their lives and flourish spiritually, emotionally, and physically during this stage.
Importantly, the onset of menopause presents a unique opportunity for every woman to develop and utilise their personal agency and strengths.
As natural as this process is, women have a tremendous despondency to aging, often report no longer ‘being seen,’ and can feel sexually broken from the onset of body changes. Each woman’s journey is unique and individual; however, many share similar experiences as they navigate this new territory of being a woman.
You’re not going crazy.
From night sweats, brain fog, memory loss, crying at the drop of a hat, aching feet, weight gain, and vaginal dryness leading to a sleepy sex drive. Grief and resentment drop in on your door, and some days don’t leave. Partners and family members are often affected and confused. Slowly and almost silently, changes leave us feeling exhausted, weak, and overwhelmed. A blanket gets thrown over our vitality, and we daydream about the lost, youthful, firm body we strutted around all those years ago.
Live authentically and put yourself first.
For some, marriages end, living arrangements change, relationships become strained, careers are impacted, and friendships fall away due to the debilitating symptoms of menopause. Through these external changes, a reorganisation occurs, and safe familiarity and lost family traditions are often craved.
A significant overhaul can often occur if a woman hasn’t lived authentically. Many women give so much throughout their lives and sacrifice their own needs for the sake of others. A lack of understanding of what is truly going on in this stage of a woman’s life can lead to a misdiagnosis of depression and anxiety.
Choose what’s right for you.
Hormonal balance is a very complex issue, and many options range from HRT to bioidentical hormones to natural herb supplements and nutritional remedies. Many women have experienced beautiful results from one or a combination of options. How you feel is your best barometer of what does or doesn’t work. If you feel good, whatever you are taking, just keep taking it. Learn to trust your own body.
Therapy can help through this emotional and overwhelming stage.
As a therapist, I see many women who have been on a harrowing journey of self-confidence and often discuss feelings of low self-worth, lack of self-love, and despair during this unfolding stage of their life. They have lost connection with their body and the innate wisdom it provides through signals, messages, and impulses. Accessing reliable information about menopause is crucial to every woman so that they can easily navigate this change.
Do not go down the rabbit hole of thinking you are failing as a woman if you are not interested in sex. It is very common, and you are not alone. Rediscovering your body and your breath will be vital to reclaiming your desire and clearly communicating with your partner what is going on.
Sometimes also, at this period of your life, unfinished business or unresolved issues from the past may be tapping you on the shoulder. Therapy can support you through these uncertain times, which will make way for a happier you.
Celebrate your freedom.
Despite the problematic changes which engulf a woman in menopause, it is also a time of renewal. A time of liberation and celebration of our increased awareness, wisdom, and self-acceptance, which comes with age. It doesn’t have to be a lonely and isolating time for you. Our ancestors honoured and revered the wise sage of the tribe, and her contribution was valued. She was initiated as the crone of the tribe. Exploring these ancient shamanic practices can reignite feminine intelligence and tap into empowerment and independence; hence
obligations get lost, a woman rediscovers her core being, and long-awaited freedom is felt. It can be a woman’s most creative and fruitful period.
Ways to support your mind and body.
Here are a few crucial tips I stand by as I embrace menopause.
Tie up loose ends
Sort out any hormonal imbalance
Morning dry body brushing
Zero sugar
Fast between 12-16 hours daily, and try only eating in an 8-hour window for longevity.
Avoid caffeine from lunchtime
Eat dinner early and lightly
Keep stress levels low and your body calm to reduce cortisol levels at night.
Remove technology from your room
Sleep is sacred and the foundation for restoring your energy levels
Reduce your body temperature before getting into bed. Have a cool shower, and keep the fan on.
Stretch/yoga routine for 10mins before bedtime.
2-3 litres of water per day
Do pilates to strengthen your pelvic floor and improve your posture
Hold on tight to treasured female enlightened friendships
Listen to what your body needs
Tune into your inner guidance
Spend lots of time in nature
Spend an hour by yourself every day
Enjoy dark chocolate
Wake up with the sun
Belly laugh every single day
Swim in the ocean
Read and study
Learn something new
Follow moon cycles
Garden
Let go of resentment and negative thoughts
Rediscover your purpose