The modern mother archetype


What this means for the present day mother, in all her forms, and what’s not said on Mothers’ Day.


Mothering is a big word and it comes in all shapes and sizes.  Mothers’ Day is the one-day THAT society acknowledges and celebrates our mums for bringing us into this world. But what about the women who don’t have children and don’t choose to go down the path of motherhood?

I think it’s time we look beyond women who have been fertile and given birth to their offspring and also include the nurturers, the surrogate mothers, the aunties and mentors who have touched our lives in the deepest and most loving ways. It is all women who play the enormous and essential role of mothering on our planet. 


According to ancient beliefs, the Mother archetype signifies what we now know as emotional intelligence and to exhibit the natural ability to nurture mutually loving and supportive relationships with those around us.

Thousands of years ago primitive matriarchal societies women were the innovators of culture.  It’s hard to believe that such female authority once existed.  Wise women, the midwives, the healers and the herbalists were all deeply in touch with their spiritual nature and were labelled witches.  This created fear in the male-dominated culture of long ago as they didn’t understand that being connected with nature was a natural instinctive gift and females were persecuted mercilessly throughout the ages because of it. 


The most important lesson we can learn from the mother archetype is to value mothering in all of its natural forms and support ourselves both physically, emotionally and spiritually.

And to also embrace the nature of change and stages of our life. Often if we don’t become in flow with our life and the challenges which are thrown at us, then change is forced upon us, chaos takes over and that always feels very uncomfortable. Once you accept that your real purpose in life is to develop yourself spiritually, become enlightened and continue the internal journey of self-enquiry, the letting go process of what no longer serves becomes easier.  The process is deep and transformative and never stops until the day we leave this earth.  


Often women become so bound up in their roles as mother, as wife, as daughter that she loses herself in the process. The woman experiencing empty nests, feels she has invested so much to her children and is often devastated at her loss of identity when her children leave home and struggles with how to think or act in a positive, practical way. The deep feminine represents love and she is the epitome of the flow of life, just like the seasons in nature.  They are forever changing and merging into something new, something different.  If we resist this, we become lost, frozen, wanting, longing and aching for more.  


Women are always seeking and craving the great love, in relationships, in our work which deeply satisfies us and in creating children, the ultimate expression of love.  The journey of this process of finding love and experiencing great achievements involves taking great risks in life and as the saying goes, no gain without pain, no joy without suffering. 

 When you feel like you have lost or at a loss, never lose the lesson, look for the insights within your pain and you will discover the light.  When a raging furnace transforms metals into gold, so too does pain prepare us for the magical process of rising to our greatest version of ourselves. 


 The mother archetype sacrifices herself for so much, often her own life.  Think carefully on your achievements in life and reflect on the valuable things you had to give up in pursuit of your dreams. Give yourself the time to grieve your losses. It’s ok to do it in your own time.  Everyone is different, some move quickly and others more slowly.  Remember to be gentle with yourself and the pace which is right for you.  It’s giving yourself the time to grieve and heal which is most important. True healing requires perseverance with a combination of introspection and action. 


Women have a life-giving force deep within and a protective power to envelop their loved ones.  In the many roles that women play, it is important to honour your magician, your subtle and magical powers you have within you, which can give a breath of life to the other archetypes which may be sleeping or stagnant.  These are the medicine woman, the sharp sage, the erotic lover, the fierce warrioress and the passionate woman in pursuit of her purpose.


Often a woman feels pressure to be so many things to so many people.  Finally, when she leaves all of her other roles at the door and rests her weary head on her pillow, she feels the pressure alongside her from her partner. He craves her body; she craves rest and time on her own.  Feeling erotic isn’t always about sex, it’s the feeling of being alive in your body.  Life-force energy flowing freely without interruption or thoughts of shame, resentment, unworthiness or inadequacies.  Once a woman abandons her mind and all of its ongoing thoughts and confusion and allows herself the pure pleasure of surrendering and expressing herself in her goddess way to the one she loves, however that is for her, she will experience profound change.

If she doesn’t make herself wrong, judge or compare herself to others and how she perceives the act of lovemaking should be, she has the opportunity to improve her mental health, her physical health and her emotional wellbeing.  If she can relax, let go, and stay with her breath, dismiss her busy mind and move in harmony with her loved one she will begin to move into the deeper realms of her psyche and experience pleasure and transformation like never before.