For generations, women have been taught to suppress their anger—to be accommodating, to soften their edges, to prioritise peace over truth. But something profound is happening in the menopause transition: women are no longer willing to swallow their rage.

This is not the quiet frustration of youth, nor the tempered assertiveness of midlife. This is raw, unfiltered, bone-deep fury—one that refuses to be silenced. And it is not a symptom to be managed. It is a revolution.

The Rage That Has Always Been There

Menopause does not create new anger; it unearths what has been buried. It dredges up decades of self-abandonment, of emotional labour that went unrecognised, of small and large injustices that were tolerated for the sake of keeping things together. It is the rage of being overlooked, of being dismissed, of carrying the invisible weight of everyone else’s needs while being told to be grateful.

For many women, the hormonal shifts of perimenopause and menopause strip away the capacity to tolerate what was once endured. The estrogen-fueled patience that allowed them to absorb societal expectations begins to wane. And in its place? A fire that refuses to be contained.

The Pathologizing of Women’s Anger

For centuries, women’s rage has been shut down—brushed off as hysteria, instability, something to be medicated and muted. When you’re young and angry, they call you dramatic and tell you to settle down. When you’re middle-aged and push back, you’re just difficult. And when you hit menopause? Suddenly, you’re irrational—just hormones talking, like your fire isn’t real, like it isn’t a lifetime of truth finally refusing to stay quiet. 

In my practice, a man once sat across from me, convinced his wife had Borderline Personality Disorder. Why? Because she was emotional, outspoken, and no longer tolerating what she once did. He looked stunned when I said, “Sounds like she’s just waking up.”

The silence that followed? Let’s just say, the diagnosis wasn’t what he expected.

What if your rage isn’t a meltdown, but a rising? Not a loss of control, but a reclamation—power that was never meant to be tamed, finally breaking free.

How Women Navigate This Shift

Women handle this transition in vastly different ways. Some embrace it as a period of deep personal awakening, using their rage as fuel for transformation. They channel it into setting stronger boundaries, reclaiming their voice, and making long-overdue changes in their relationships, careers, and personal lives. They seek support—through therapy, community, or holistic practices—and emerge more empowered than ever.

Others struggle under the weight of their emotions, feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, and trapped in cycles of frustration or despair. Some turn their anger inward, battling self-doubt, guilt, or depression. Others lash out, feeling unseen and unheard, which can strain their relationships with partners, children, and colleagues. Without understanding and support, this rage can become isolating rather than liberating.

How Men and Other Women Respond

Men, often unprepared for the intensity of this shift, may react with confusion, fear, avoidance, or even dismissal. Conditioned to see emotional regulation as strength, many struggle to understand the depth of a woman’s menopausal experience. Some become more distant, retreating into silence or frustration, while others lean in, willing to listen, learn, and support their partners through this uncharted territory. The difference often lies in a man’s own emotional capacity—his ability to sit with discomfort rather than shut it down.

Other women can be powerful allies—or harsh critics. Those who have embraced menopause as a breakthrough become fierce guides, lighting the way for others. But then there are the gatekeepers—still bound by conditioning, shrinking from their own power and policing others. They roll their eyes at a woman’s rage, silence her with a patronizing smile, or weaponize shame to keep her small, enforcing the very system that disconnects women from their fire.

This quiet tragedy is one every woman knows—the moment another woman, instead of standing beside her, looks away in judgment and disgust. Rather than embracing sisterhood, she upholds the silence that has kept women small for generations. Every woman carries a story of this betrayal—the averted eyes, the dismissive tone, the cold sting of disapproval when she dared to step into her fire.

The Cultural Shift: No More Swallowing Fire

This generation of menopausal women is different. They are not disappearing into the background. They are not content with invisibility. They are speaking up, setting boundaries, demanding better.

This is the rage of women who have spent decades being the emotional glue in their relationships, the peacemakers in their families, the unthanked labourers of home and work. And now, they are asking: Who takes care of me? Who listens to me? When do I get to stop apologizing for my existence?

The Power of Unleashed Rage

Women’s rage is not destruction; it is rebirth. It is the force that breaks toxic cycles. It is the catalyst for truth-telling. It is the voice that finally says, Enough.

This rage is not the problem. The problem is a world that has spent too long ignoring it.

To every woman feeling this fire rise within her—know this: You are not broken. You are awakening. And the world needs your voice more than ever.

Are you feeling this shift? Let’s talk about it. Join me in your personal session exploring this powerful transition—one that is long overdue.