Working with me is not about sitting in a room talking about the same problem week after week.

It is a deep dive into what is really going on underneath the surface.

People are often surprised by how different they feel after only one session because we often uncover something that has been sitting in the subconscious mind for years.

We can know a relationship is not right. We can know we are exhausted, overgiving or living a life that no longer fits.

And still we don’t change it.

Because what we consciously know and what we unconsciously carry can be two very different things.

So much of what drives us comes from what we learned early about love, belonging, safety, family and what we had to do to remain connected.

And one of the strongest forces underneath all of this is loyalty.

In families there can be a kind of blind love we simply cannot see.

Out of love and loyalty, we can unconsciously remain connected to the struggles, losses, beliefs and emotional burdens of the people who came before us.

We don’t decide to do this.

We simply love.

And sometimes that means carrying things that were never really ours to carry.

Relationships

This is often where the subconscious becomes impossible to ignore.

Who we choose. Who we tolerate. Who we chase. Who we try to save. Whether we can receive love. Whether we trust somebody who is actually available to us.

We can keep repeating the same relationship patterns without understanding why.

Sometimes we are trying to resolve something much older through the person standing in front of us.

And sometimes we remain loyal to what love looked like in our family.

If love meant sacrificing, rescuing, waiting, fighting for attention or accepting very little, that can become familiar without us ever consciously choosing it.

Health

Our emotional world does not exist separately from the body.

Long held stress, fear, grief, anger, resentment and unresolved experiences can affect how we feel physically.

We can push emotions down, rationalise them, stay busy and tell ourselves we are over it.

But anger and other emotions always find their way to the surface.

Sometimes through tension. Exhaustion. Anxiety. Agitation. Poor sleep. Or simply the feeling that something inside us is not settled.

The body often becomes the place where what has never been given permission to be felt finally gets our attention.

What we don’t allow ourselves to feel still needs somewhere to go.

Money

Our deeper patterns also show up around money.

Whether we allow ourselves to receive.

Whether we undervalue ourselves.

Whether success feels safe.

Whether we give ourselves permission to have more.

Sometimes we consciously want financial freedom while unconsciously remaining loyal to struggle.

If our family worked hard, went without or believed life was supposed to be difficult, having more can create guilt we don’t understand.

That too can be blind loyalty.

Purpose

Many people spend years becoming who everybody else needs them to be.

The responsible one.

The strong one.

The caretaker.

The person who keeps everything together.

Then one day they realise they don’t actually know what they want.

Purpose is not always about some grand mission.

Sometimes it starts with giving yourself permission to live a life that actually feels like yours.

Permission to Feel

This is a huge part of the work I do.

Many people learned very early that certain feelings were not acceptable.

Don’t be angry.

Don’t upset anyone.

Don’t disappoint your parents.

Don’t grieve for too long.

Don’t say what you really think.

So we suppress, rationalise and carry on.

But unresolved emotions don’t disappear simply because we stop talking about them.

They show up in our relationships, our health, our money, our choices and the life we create.

This is why I am always interested in what sits underneath the presenting problem.

What are you repeating?
What are you carrying?
Who are you still loyal to?
And what have you never given yourself permission to feel?

Once we see what has been running underneath the surface, things can shift very quickly.

Sometimes we don’t need to keep talking about the same story.

We need to uncover what is still running our life.

However you spend this weekend, I hope there is time for the people you love, something that fills you up, and at least one moment that feels completely yours. xx